I didn't get glasses until 3rd grade, even though I could have used them sooner. Like right out of the womb sooner. I was nearsighted then and even more so now. But no-one (including myself) noticed much. I like to read, so it was not unusual to see me with my nose in a book; like most little kids I was obsessed with creepy crawlies so seeing me studying something on my hands and knees on the lawn was also commonplace; and, not knowing what I was missing, it never really bothered me. Until Third Grade. Until... Math. Dun-dun-DUN.
Once the lessons graduated from times-tables and other work that I could read out of the book, to fractions and lessons that took place on the chalkboard, it was clear that I had a problem. But, it was caught quickly and I was marched on down to the base optometrist to get my first pair of glasses. This was 1968, so of course we're talking tortoise shell rims, and being eight years old, I'd recently got my front teeth in too - so there I was, a big ol', buck toothed, bespectacled nerd (though that term hadn't been invented yet).
But I still had a secret that I kept to myself, very much in the same spirit as my ignorance of needing glasses. Something that I thought everyone experienced, just goes without saying, not worth mentioning. And I was almost right. Almost.
I have an old dog's eyes, or a chinchilla's. Specifically, one eye, my left. For fifty-one years I've lived life ignoring what my left eye tells me. Because it is full of soap. Phosphates. Isn't yours? Probably not! I have a condition called Asteroid Hyalosis. Now before you click that link, let me tell you that it's not floaters. Those, everyone gets, at some time or the other, and they're nothing like the stars in my eye. These stars - galaxies, strings, whatever you call them - formations of phosphates and calcium are the equivalent of seeing through very dirty glasses, all the time, while jiggling them with one hand. Really.
I didn't realize just how strange my soapy eye is until my 30's, when I started seeing Dr. Albert DeMers at Sparks Optical instead of going to the "Eyeballs at the Mall" chain stores. On my first visit to his office I went through a series of tests at various stations before landing in one of the exam rooms to see the good Doc. Some of these tests I hadn't done since I was a kid. A few, probably hadn't been invented yet.
Among Dr. DeMers many virtues was an almost childlike glee in pointing out life's little absurdities, and my soapy eye fit the bill and made his day. After introductions, he asked me if I knew what was special about my eye. My left eye. At first I didn't understand. Then he brought pics of my right eye up on a nearby computer.
"This is the inside of your right eye. You see, the fluid is fairly clear. Just a few floaters here, and there–" he then changed pics. "This is your left. Dramatic, isn't it!" His smile lit up the room as he pointed at the screen. This may seem off-putting at the telling, but then, it was OK, his mood was contagious. *
Up to then I had never had a clue that this was not normal. I hadn't even realized that the galaxies of "stuff" that I'd learned to look around and through all of my life was confined to one eye. And the picture was dramatic - barely recognizable as a picture of the inside of an eye, after seeing the other. I'd have sworn it was a picture of space from a National Geographic article. It was very striking.
"Does this bother you?" he asked.
"No- well, not really. I guess I've learned to ignore it."
"Well, it's benign, so you should not worry that you are in danger of losing sight. However, it is unusual to the extreme in your case. I'll probably show this to some colleagues. Is that alright with you?"
"Sure". And from there we moved on with the exam.
Now, I was sincere when I told the Doc that they didn't bother me. I'd been tuning them out for decades. My jobs up to that point were also very active - restaurant and retail management. But just coincidental with finding out what these things are, I bought a computer, and everything changed.
I didn't realize just how strange my soapy eye is until my 30's, when I started seeing Dr. Albert DeMers at Sparks Optical instead of going to the "Eyeballs at the Mall" chain stores. On my first visit to his office I went through a series of tests at various stations before landing in one of the exam rooms to see the good Doc. Some of these tests I hadn't done since I was a kid. A few, probably hadn't been invented yet.
Among Dr. DeMers many virtues was an almost childlike glee in pointing out life's little absurdities, and my soapy eye fit the bill and made his day. After introductions, he asked me if I knew what was special about my eye. My left eye. At first I didn't understand. Then he brought pics of my right eye up on a nearby computer.
"This is the inside of your right eye. You see, the fluid is fairly clear. Just a few floaters here, and there–" he then changed pics. "This is your left. Dramatic, isn't it!" His smile lit up the room as he pointed at the screen. This may seem off-putting at the telling, but then, it was OK, his mood was contagious. *
*This was almost always the case with Dr. DeMers. He knew how to work a room!
"Does this bother you?" he asked.
"No- well, not really. I guess I've learned to ignore it."
"Well, it's benign, so you should not worry that you are in danger of losing sight. However, it is unusual to the extreme in your case. I'll probably show this to some colleagues. Is that alright with you?"
"Sure". And from there we moved on with the exam.
Now, I was sincere when I told the Doc that they didn't bother me. I'd been tuning them out for decades. My jobs up to that point were also very active - restaurant and retail management. But just coincidental with finding out what these things are, I bought a computer, and everything changed.
to be continued...
No comments:
Post a Comment